Coupons Available for Vegas Planet Hollywood: Free lettuce wrap with purchase of an entree at PF Changs, Free margarita or mojito with purchase of entree at Yolo's, two-for-one Stripper 101 class, Two-for-one tickets at V Theater. (Click Here For More Info.)

Room Quality: There are several room types at the Planet Hollywood: Hollywood Hip, resort, resort vista, and then several suites. Only the non-suites are ones that us lowlifes can afford. The Hollywood Hip rooms are slightly larger than average at 450 s.f., and a huge amount of that space is in the bathroom. Each has "real" movie memorabilia in them. If you're lucky, you can get the coveted "Manos: The Hands of Fate" room. The bedroom is actually pretty average. The carpet is light and subdued, the furniture is very good and each room has a king or two queen beds, a nice little stuffed chair and a writing desk. You can connect to the Internet at high speed for an ungodly fee. Just think, you can sit in your hotel room and read what we have to say about it! Walls are reportedly thin so you can hear the better times other guests are having. Bathrooms have marble counter tops, separate soaking tubs and showers and a private little water closet so you can take care of business as noisily as you please. There are flat-screen TVs, ironing boards and safes. The rooms also have two phones (one of which is cordless). Hollywood Hip rooms have small windows, but Resort Vistas are better. They and the plain Resort rooms are also another 100+ square feet larger with loveseats and bigger bathrooms. If you want something larger, maybe for entertaining, you can also check out the Planet Hollywood Towers, a part-time-share, part-hotel facility.

Service Quality: You should expect some potentially long waits at check-in. Parking is fairly far away unless you valet, which we're too cheap to do.

What You Get Bottles of in the Bathroom: Body lotion, bath gel, final rinse and shampoo. The sizes are larger than average, which is nice. Where is the grand prize, the motherlode, the sewing kit?

Clientele: Lots of young urbanites with cash to blow. You'll see lots of silk shirts on the fellows and expensive looking mini-skirts on the ladies.

How's the Pool? There are two pools on a deck off the first hotel floor, which is above the casino and shopping complex. The pool is open for limited hours, so don't bother getting up early to beat the crowd.

Table Games: There are loads of tables with all your favorites. Look for 3x4x5x odds at the craps tables, blackjack six- and eight-deck shoes, Let It Ride and roulette. The High Limit area is off the main floor and not at all crowded. The main area has a "Pleasure Pit" where go-go dancers shake their money-takers right by the tables.

Bet Minimums: $10 in the common casino at almost all games (occasionally $5), and more in the high roller salon upstairs. Too rich for our blood. We'll be the guys swilling the free booze then heading down to the El Cortez for a cheap craps game later.

Machines: Amid the very slot signage and confusing layout are plenty of machines. They go anywhere from a penny for us cheapskates all the way up to $1000 a spin in the High Limit area. They have a huge selection of the newest and loudest video slot machines.

Cocktails? The cocktail waitresses used to dress like genies with bare midriffs and gauzy veil pants, but they don't anymore and they will not let you put them in a bottle. Trust us on this one. The service is good.

Who Gets Comps? It's about the same as any other Strip casino. The slot club is the ubiquitous Harrah's Total Rewards program.

Cabo Wabo: Sammy Hagar's Mexican restaurant-slash-drinking parlor-slash-nightclub has good food, very loud music and antics that would seem outrageous any place but Las Vegas. Although it wants to be young, Cabo is really for folks in their thirties and forties more than anyone else. After all, who else even remembers who Sammy is? And why would they? This isn't directly in Planet Hollywood, but nearby in the mall.

Earl of Sandwich: You don't have to wear a powedered wig to get a sandwich here. There is a lot of hooha about artisan bread and premium meats, and to be fair, the sandwiches are good and well-priced. But with us you could call stuff from the backshelf of the bakery thrift "artisan" and we'd believe you. Heck, "crusty" and "stale" are pretty close cousins.

Koi: Don't worry, you don't have to eat those pretty carp of the title. Instead, you can enjoy Japanese cuisine like kobe steak, seared salmon and sesame encrusted lobster tail (yum). The restaurant is only open at night. Also, when you enter you'll think it's a lounge. Keep walking; you'll find the eating part.

PBR Rock Bar: They tore the plans for this place right out of the book of averages. It's a loud bar with sportsbar grub, like ribs, burgers and deep-fried appetizers. It's large, though, and fills a niche here. This is not directly in Planet Hollywood, but at the Strip entrance to the Miracle Mile, just a few steps away.

P. F. Chang's: A popular chain serving Americanized Chinese food. This is usually good fresh food with light and spicy sauces. Get some of those crunchy noodles. Meals are about under $30 per person including drinks and tip.

Planet Dailies: This coffee shop has a huge menu, but it's still just a coffee shop, and more expensive than most. Still, if you have a big group with a lot of different preferences, probably everyone can fill their bellies.

Spice Market Buffet: This is a good buffet. You'll find prime rib and the usual stuff. Plus, there may be rack of lamb, dim sum, and some real middle-eastern dishes like Tabboulleh and tart black olives. For dessert, the pastries are hard to beat. Oh, the fresh fruit has us drooling as we write this. Oh, wait, sorry, that's our medication. Waits can be long for some food areas.

Strip House: This fancy steakhouse serves up good meat in a somewhat overdone room. By overdne, we mean the photos of partially clad showgirls that give the joint its name. You're sort of paying for more than just the meat when you eat here. Like we said though, the meat's good.

Yolos: Come for the 13-foot margarita fountain, stay for, well, um, you don't have to stay. This Mexican restaurant offers pretty basic food, like chicken quesadilla, taquitos, tacos, enchiladas, filet mignon and mahi mahi. It's all pretty solid, just not adventurous. Prices are generally reasonable.

Gallery Nightclub: Gallery is yet another hipster nightclub with gothic touches. There are live DJs who spin wax and dancers. There is also a "lipstick bar" where you can try on different colors. Drink up and try to hook up.

Miracle Mile: This huge mall is built into the hotel. It is the closest to a discount mall as you'll find on the Strip. If you love shopping, you'll probably enjoy a stroll through here. There's a fancy laser light show in the mall, so bring your protective glasses.

Peepshow: A topless production show with a live band and the promise of lots of sexy numbers from the numerous dancers. The story is some nonsense about a scantily-clad fairy type helping a meek office worker discover her sexuality, select a mate and user her "power" through naughty interpretations of fairy tales. It stars Holly Madison from the "Girls Next Door".

Performing Arts Center: A 7,000 seat theater, with good sound and a nice layout, but at 7,000 seats it's sure to be an impersonal experience. If you dig arena rock shows, like Moody Blues or the Jonas Brothers this is about as good as the any other big venue.

Pussycat Dolls Burlesque Saloon: This is pretty much an extension of the Gallery Nightclub, but with the Dolls scantily clad dancers, tease, loud music and some sort of flavor of old burlesque shows and brothels.

Number of TVs: Twenty-eight medium-sized flat screens fill this small space. There are two bigger ones as well, but they aren't huge. They split the TVs up about half for sports and half for racing.

Number of Seats: About 48 decent leather lounger type seats are spread out in front of the TVs. If you're some sort of hot shot, you can sit on sofas in the VIP area. La-di-da.

How Many Betting Windows? Five, with electronic signboards.

Free Drinks? Bet the ponies and they'll load you up right. Bet the sports and you need to ask for a drink ticket. Boo!

Snack Bar? The Earl of Sandwich a short walk away. If his royal majesty deigns to serve you a sandwich, you should take it.

Minimum Wager: $5 for sports, $2 for races.

Number of Tables: About 12 tables almost all of which are dealing Texas Hold'Em, with the very rare Omaha game. During busy times most all of the tables might be going.

Comfort of Chairs: These are quite good swivel chairs. We have superlative fannies so we require chairs of this caliber. The felts are dark, which is a switch from the sand-color that is so popular right now.

Closed Room or Open to Casino? The poker room is just a space in the casino. It's not even roped off so it can get noisy with casino noise and wayward slot players can wander right through the "room".

Game Spreads and Limits: Like we said, Texas Hold 'Em at $2-$4 and up. They have no-limit games usually at $1-$2, occasionally higher. They say they deal stud and hold'em, but so do many other places that never actually manage to get a game going.

Beginner Games or Classes? Beginner lessons at nine a.m. Too bad, we were hoping for those "expert player" lessons.

How Crowded is the Room? Most times the wait is short. On weekends, maybe you wait 30 minutes, but otherwise you can get right in or wait less. They have a decent area to sit and wait.

Comps? There is no hourly tracking.

How Good Are the Players? This hotel really draws the rookies, and many want to play poker. You will find some fish at all tables. So, play smart and find some pockets to pick.

What Else Do I Need to Know? Similar promos and tourneys to most strip hotels. One notable fact: no food at the tables. Apparently they got wind of the time we smeared an entire table with Mayonnaise. But hey, we licked it up.