Room Quality: The rooms are average-sized. They have fridges, coffee-makers and safes. The bathrooms have tub/shower combos and a single sink. As far as quality, the rooms are like a motel. Avoid rooms on the first floor as the windows open to the world there is a good chance your view will be of the driveway and the exhaust smells might convince you to keep the window closed as much as possible. On the plus side, the location is hard to beat. It's walking distance to the center Strip and so many casinos you'll plotz.

Service Quality: What service? There's no room service or fancy bed turn-down happening here. The help at the front desk can be as surly. Overall, this is the kind of place where you're expected to take care of yourself.

What You Get Bottles of in the Bathroom: There's the dreaded shampoo/conditioner combo (it just doesn't give us the extra body we need) and lotion. Maybe even a showercap in the suites. If you know what to do with a showercap, you can have a pretty wild night. We don't though, so don't ask.

Clientele: The poor crowd. This place is mildly popular with young people, and very popular with grinders who don't have the clothes to hang out at the new ritzy places. Occasionally, pretty people do find their way in. Heck, we've stared at many pretty people, too shy to approach them.

How's the Pool? Super small. The pool doesn't give you anything to see or do but swim in small circles. Oh, and breathe exhaust fumes.

Table Games: Blackjack, craps, roulette. It's the basics with a few gimmicky twists, like Spanish 21, and blackjack Switch! Dealers are friendly but prone to hustling for tips, and the action is lively and loud. If we are any indication, this is definitely a place where folks can let loose and make asses of themselves.

Bet Minimums: $3 craps tables (with 100x odds for $5 bettors, 20x below that). Roulette can be as high as $1 chips with $4 minimum, and there is usually (but not always) a few $5 blackjack tables. Skip the crappy 6:5 blackjack games.

Machines: Slots from a penny on up to a buck. The penny slots are coin-free, they take paper bills and print out receipts for your winnings. Their slot selection is fair but limited to a few hundred machines. The video poker is poor.

Cocktails? Great cocktail service, plus a low-price bar right next to all the action. The free-flowing booze is why the young folks are so happy. It's also why they're throwing up in the planters out front.

Who Gets Comps? The slot club pays decent to slot players, and half as much to VP players. Play a full day here at quarters and you'll be comped free nights. At the tables, play twenty bucks a hand for a few hours and you can probably talk them into a free dinner at Denny's.

Denny's: You know this ain't the Mirage when the Denny's is right next door. You'll be okay if you just steer clear of their chili-cheese dog (if you plan on getting really drunk, print this out and glue it to your hand because it's really important you don't forget).

Outback: Get a taste of the genuine Australian outback in this one-of-a-kind dining experience staffed by real Aussies. Ah, just fooling. It's just another outlet of the mid-priced steak chain. It ain't Australian at all. Well, except for the Bloomin' Onion. We hear those grow wild in the Australian desert.