Room Quality: The rooms are fair: clean, but small and spartanly equipped. The decor in the non-renovated rooms is kind of ugly, but not overly tacky or disturbing (like the casino). The decor in the renovated rooms (Capri rooms) is newer and boring. You want to avoid the motel-style rooms out back because they overlook the parking garage, get a lot of exhaust fumes and are not nice. In fact, you want to ask for a room in the first tower since it has the best elevator service. (Apparently, the first tower is only for heavy sleepers, though, since loud noise from the outdoor stage at Harrah's next door can go on until late into the night.) The Luv Tub rooms have big hot tubs for romantic flings, or for people with a few extra bucks to spend. The hotel has expanded many times and so its towers are scattered about and disjointed. Most of the elevators are painfully slow. The location is hard to beat, since it's right in the heart of the Center Strip, so if you just want a place to lay your head, the IP just might be for you. They have wireless high-speed Internet throughout the property (for a fee).

Service Quality: Fair. This is a place for people with moderate tastes, so don't wander in here if you're expecting Bellagio-quality stuff. Room service is slow and poor in quality. Check-in can be a two-hour experience if you choose the wrong day and time. Even at the slowest times, expect a long wait.

What You Get Bottles of in the Bathroom: Cheap shampoo, conditioner. Look, they have to cut costs somewhere to keep the prices low so they give you generic stuff, and a shower cap.

Clientele: Middle-aged to elderly. It's a low-roller casino and it draws a low-roller clientele. Expect to see lots of polyester. We find the casino pretty creepy, but if you dig Bruce Lee movies, you might fit right in.

How's the Pool? Poor. The pool is rectangular, unthemed and very average, which just doesn't mean much in Las Vegas. It's also almost entirely in the shadows of the hotel.

Table Games: They deal all your favorites, except nobody but casino owners likes 6:5 BJ. We can't spend much time in the casino because of its creepiness, but some people always play here and believe the tables are more generous. Beware the "Dealertainers" who will attempt to do more than just deal the games. The "champagne pit" is so classy that you shouldn't go near it if you're feeling gassy. Nah, just kidding. Have at it.

Bet Minimums: $5, sometimes, which puts it on the lower end for the Strip, and that's cheap by mid-strip standards. It can be $10, though, if it's a weekend or other busy time. Of course, the Casino Royale is right nearby and it can be even cheaper. Craps is $5 most of the time with 3x4x5x odds. Let It Ride, Three Card Poker and Pai Gow are all $5 to $10.

Machines: From pennies up to at least $5. It's a low-roller joint and they'll give you points on your slot card even for lowly nickel play. There are few if any full-pay video poker machines.

Cocktails? Good. They used to feature busty women in skimpy kimonos, but they have cheapened up the outfits.

Who Gets Comps? They used to he fairly generous but now they are part of the Harrah's outfit, with the Total Rewards slot card. And that's pretty lousy for slot players and table players.

Betty's Diner: Get your morning joe, ice cream, shakes and stuff like hot dogs and nachos at this low-maintenance snack bar. Oh, and you can get virtual nachos via their Internet access.

Burger Palace: On the second floor, this fast food joint serves up good and cheap burgers. It's right next door to the sports book. The decor is strictly low rent, like a McDonalds.

Embers: This is the fanciest restaurant the Imperial Palace has, but it's still just a pretty bland steakhouse, with cuts of meat starting around $30.

Emperor's Buffet: This place the ranks among the worst buffets in Las Vegas, in our opinions. It's a gruesome affair at dinnertime with a dyspeptic mixture of greasy dishes. Some say it is digestible for breakfast, but you can do a lot better for the prices.

Pizza Palace: A tiny little room with pizza and pasta for low prices. Nothing will set you back more than $10 per person.

Teahouse: The 24-hour coffee shop is like every other in town, except their prime rib sandwich is top notch, and they offer a a smattering of Asian grub among the typically American fare.

Auto Collections: Even if you don't like cars, you'll probably enjoy this display. There are always hundreds of classic cars on display. The selection rotates since all cars are for sale, but there are American Motors, Mercedes Gullwings, race cars, celebrity cars and some oddities. Plus, it's free with the coupon you can get in any tourist magazine or from one of the people giving them away in front.

Frank Marinos Divas Las Vegas: Frank Marino is a Las Vegas fixture having been in the Riviera's cross-dressing show La Cage for ages. Now he has this similar show, which has sixteen cross-dressing impersonators doing Cher, Beyonce and other pop stars. To us, the show gets old pretty quick, but we're in the minority; most people can't get enough of this stuff.

Human Nature: An Australian vocal quartet tackles Motown's greatest hits most nights in a musical show. They dress pretty nice, and it's interesting watching four white guys belting out some soul. The show is for fans of 60s Motown or strong vocals backed by live music, because that's pretty much what you get.

Karaoke Club: If you love karaoke, head on up to the third floor, next to the sports book in the evening to either watch some amateur warbling, or to participate. Look for us; we'll be the guys singing Ebony and Ivory as often as they'll let us.

Matsuri: This Japanese variety show is really more like an acrobatic show with stunts like human jump rope, Judo Tango and other physical feats. This is an afternoon show most days, with an evening show on Fridays.

Rockhouse: Sorry, we didn't mistype rockhound. We know how you would all love a place to talk about your agates. This place is actually a good idea: a nightclub with DJs and dance floor that is sort of hip, and doesn't try to rip you off on cocktails. Plus, it's right on the Strip at the front of the hotel.

Number of TVs: They have 12 TVs in the race book that everyone can watch, and they have 15 in the sports book. All of the race book TVs are medium-sized. The others are a mix of big and small.

Number of Seats: There are over 200 seats in the massive and very nice race book. Each and every seat has its own little TV, but they only get races. Well, anyway, we couldn't find "Green Acres." The sports book is actually under the stadium seating for the race book and there aren't too many chairs.

How Many Betting Windows? There are 10 sports windows and eight race windows. But, on any given day, more race windows will be open. The boards are plain old white slate, just like Mom used to write odds on.

Free Drinks? A large-breasted cocktail waitress offered us a drink for just sitting there staring at her endowments. But, you probably really need to stare that sort of treatment. Expect them to require you to place a few bets too get the hooch.

Snack Bar? No, but the Burger Palace is right next door and it has good burgers.

Minimum Wager: $5 sports, $2 for racing

Other Notes: This is easily one of the nicest race books in town. Too bad the sports book kind of stinks for watching games. In the sports book, the betting windows are on one side of the bar, and the seating and TVs are on the other side.

Number of Tables: Six tables with three or more working at busy times.

Comfort of Chairs: Hey, come on. You're worried about the damn chairs? Maybe you should be more worried about that guy down at the end who's slow playing you with pocket queens. Then you'll stop fretting over how mediocre the chairs are.

Closed Room or Open to Casino? The room is fairly open to the rest of the casino, and close to the main entrance. It is also close to slots that makes for a lot of noise.

Game Spreads and Limits: Hold 'Em, Texas Hold 'Em. It's exclusively low limit, with the games starting at a totally reasonable 2-4 and occasionally bumping a table up if they can find the players. They will deal no limit as well.

Beginner Games or Classes? They have a class at 11 in the morning, precisely when we wake up because our faces are all cold from the drool on the pillow. Then, we flip the pillow and go back to sleep.

How Crowded is the Room? Medium, not too bad, but they have a huge hotel to suck from the fill seats. So, I guess what we're saying is there is always a game, and there is rarely a wait.

Comps? You can use your slot card to get rated and receive pretty goood comps, at $2 an hour.

How Good Are the Players? Lots of bad tourists, so if you know how to play tight-aggressive or have solid fundamentals you can probably grind out a profit. Of course, if you have solid skills, you'll probably find a better place where more money's at stake.

What Else Do I Need to Know? Prizes for high hands. Whatever you do, try not to get a hand that rewards you with a buffet. They've got low-cost No-Limit tournaments going on most days.