Room Quality: Smallish, clean rooms with nice furnishings and a fairly modern look that includes a flat-screen TVs. The furniture is basic, a small table with a couple chairs and a dresser. The window is small because the bathroom is up against the outside wall. The bathrooms are decent with a tiny room for the toilet and tub. Premium rooms have sliding doors on the bathroom that make them more comfortable, and better furnishings that are dark woods and new mattresses (they are worth the upgrade). The cool part is that the tub has a little window that opens to the outside world so you can keep your eye on your car while scrubbing. Being off the Strip, a lot of the Gold Coast's rooms don't have spectacular views, but then who needs a nice view when one just plans to pass out drunk on the floor? The walk from the elevator to your room can be incredibly long. Hairdryers, irons and coffeemakers are standard.

Service Quality: Good. Everyone out here tends to be pretty friendly. Check-in is quick once you find the front desk in the twisty casino, but it's a long ways from the hotel tower. Room service is probably not worth staying in your room for. Also, this is a blue-collar resort, so don't go in there demanding high-speed access for your fancy little portable computers.

What You Get Bottles of in the Bathroom: They know the key to a traveler's heart is bottles of stuff, so you get lotion, shampoo and the extremely important separate conditioner.

Clientele: Locals and pragmatic tourists. The shuttle service to the strip tends to attract an older crowd, who seem used to riding around on the bus for some reason. The shuttle also makes it a realistic place to stay without a car.

How's the Pool? Dinky. There is a jacuzzi in case you want to boil some crabs or yourself. The fitness room is quite nice.

Table Games: Blackjack, Craps, Pai Gow, Baccarat, Roulette and BINGO! They have a giant bingo game and you best get out of the way of the horde of older women charging through the casino toward it. Bingo's about the only thing that makes the Gold Coast unique as a gambling destination. The casino is very smoky and some of the people look like they were born and will die here.

Bet Minimums: $5 minimums most of the time for blackjack, with a few double-deck games scattered here and there. Craps is $5 minimum with 3x4x5x odds. Other card games are $5 except Baccarat and Pai Gow which can be $10. The crazy roulette players get $1 chips with a $3 minimum, and a ball that goes round and round on a wheel that also goes round and round.

Machines: Pretty good selection of slots and video poker, but nothing worth composing sonnets over. There are full-pay video poker machines at the quarter and higher level, and there is a wide variety of nickel slots.

Cocktails? Sure, they'll load you up with cocktails. Just smile friendly-like while you tip the waitress so she remembers your face.

Who Gets Comps? $25 and up table players get noticed and food if they politely ask the pit boss. The $50 bettors get the occasional free room. The B-Connected program connects all Boyd properties and is pretty average for slot play.

Cortez Room: Don't be fooled by the name. You won't die of consumption from eating here like the Aztecs did at the hands of the real Cortez. Instead, you'll get prime rib, steak and seafood, but only at dinnertime. The prices are downright cheap with most steaks around $20, and the food is slightly above average. Not a killer restaurant, but for the prices you won't get mad and start throwing chairs. Open for dinner only.

Noodle Exchange: The Noodle Exchange is open from noon until late night, so don't come hoping to get some juicy noodles and veggies for breakfast. For lunch and dinner, sure. Mostly this is simple noodle dishes with a bit of meat.

Ping Pang Pong: Chinese food in a nice, small room right off the casino floor. This is mid-priced with most entrees between $10 and $15. It's also pretty good. Lunch is served dim sum style. If you're anything like us, you'll spend the whole meal saying "Ping Pang Pong!" over and over again until they ask you to leave.

Ports o' Call Buffet: An okay buffet, full of okay comfort foods. It's a solid value for low-priced breakfast with omelettes and all the traditional grub. In general, despite the "international" stations, this is basic meat and potatoes fare that won't disappoint the simple person inside you. For about a buck more, though, you can have a better buffet at the Station Casinos.

TGI Friday's: Well, it's just like the TGI Friday's you have back home with mid-priced burgers, steaks, chicken, some lousy shrimp, lots of fries and finger foods and crazy crap on the walls. It's just like a little slice of home right there on your vacation. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Bowling: A 72-lane alley up on the second floor keeps Las Vegas' uppercrust entertained. You can go up there and breathe some of the rarefied air associated with the fine art of pin-knocking-down. What amazes us is that you can't even hear this place down in the casino and it's usually packed with students of the sweet science (of pin-knocking-down).

Lounges: There are a couple indistinct lounges. Nothing special at all, but when you've gambled away all your money, you can find yourself a little free entertainment here.

Number of TVs: About 38. Of those, 36 are medium-sized plasma screens and two more are really big. Unless there's a significant sporting event going on, all the big screens tend to show horse racing action.

Number of Seats: About 120, all of which are decidedly uncomfortable chairs. Each seat is at a desk, though and has an individual TVs. Twenty-four additional lounge/desk type chairs face the sports screens.

How Many Betting Windows? 9 for race, 6 for sports. The sports boards are electronic, but not the race results.

Free Drinks? If you're lucky, a dazed cocktail waitress might wander through and offer you something, but don't count on it.

Snack Bar? Visit the hot dog stand for a mediocre dog. Or go to the Red Zone sports bar on the weekends for burgers, wings, onion rings and the like.

Minimum Wager: $5 sports, $2 for racing

Other Notes: They have 30 interactive betting terminals, so you can pretend you're at home gambling on the Internet.

Number of Tables: Six tables in the room.

Comfort of Chairs: Once again, we've found a typical poker room chair. Metal, padding, upholstery, all done like most places. And God knows our tushies want something fancy. But these are simply average.

Closed Room or Open to Casino? Not closed. It is up front in the casino by TGI Friday's, so the smell of deep-fried stuff may waft out and tempt you.

Game Spreads and Limits: Hold'Em at $$3-$6, sometimes higher, with a $1-$2 no-limit game during busy enough times.

Beginner Games or Classes? Heck, even the No-Limit game is good if you can play tight. There are no classes, but they have a cheap daily tournament that is geared for beginners.

How Crowded is the Room? Not crowded. This is an okay room, and a way better place to play low-limits than the Rio next door. Although, the Palms across the street has wilder, higher stakes games, and more dumb young guys with more money than brains.

Comps? You get $1.25 for each hour played through your player card.

How Good Are the Players? Mostly soft. The retirees can be like rocks. That's not to say they are good, they just lose slowly. A few loose players are mixed in, but few real strong players.

What Else Do I Need to Know? Good cocktail service. Plus, this room was home to the 2005 and 2008 CheapoVegas Solar System Series of Poker and the staff was very friendly.