Palms Casino Resort

Room Quality:

The rooms have an upscale Palm Springs or Florida feel to them, like your grandparents' house if your grandparents were cool and had hip furniture. The colors are the obligatory beige and earth tones, and the furniture has clean lines. "Deluxe" (regular) rooms are larger than average at 440 square feet, but nowhere near as the luxury joints on the Strip. Everyone gets a big ol' television. Rooms also include in-room safes, those way-overpriced mini-bar fridges, coffeemaker, hairdryer, iron and full-size ironing boards. Bathrooms are unspectacular, and not up to the standard set by the newer strip joints. The Superior rooms have Jacuzzi tubs (although bathrooms are still mediocre), better furnishings and nicer stereos, and are in the new "Fantasy" tower. The towers are tall and skinny, and there are only a dozen or so rooms per floor, so you're never far from the elevator. Views can be incredible if you can see the Strip from this side of the interstate. Or maybe you'll see the mountains. From there, you can upgrade to Palms Place, which has studio and multi-bedroom suites that are even swankier. If you're a total high-roller, pay the mega-premium and get one of the "fantasy suites" in the new tower. They're like the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo on steroids. 

Service Quality:

Good, but there seem to be a lot of young (and inexperienced) people working here and they sometimes don't have your interests at heart. Actually most of the people that work at Palms Casino Resort Las Vegas only care about their own interests and heart. 

What You Get Bottles of in the Bathroom:

La-dee-da, you won't smell like the hoi-polloi if you stay at Palms in Las Vegas because they have Aveda soaps as well as fancy shampoos and lotions. We usually scrub up with that pink scratchy powder you find in gas station bathrooms, so this is pretty deluxe.  Heck, they even have fluffy towels, and not a filthy rag on a roller.

Clientele:

On the weekdays Palms can be fairly quiet and you'll see a lot of locals hitting the slots and the sports book. On the weekends, bring your earplugs because the young California hipsters tend to scream very loud when they hit a nickel jackpot.

How's the Pool?

The pool at Palms is not so much used as a pool as it is as a socializing area. The pool area is off the casino floor. There is lots of room surrounding the pool for deck parties, hanging out, eating, dancing, drinking or meeting friends, but the pool itself is just okay. Palms Place pool on the 6th floor is a more relaxing choice.

Resort Fee:

Palms charges a $20 a night resort fee which includes internet , cardio center access, expanded shuttle service hours to and from Forum Shops on Las Vegas Blvd, and a daily newspaper.

Is it Worth It?

Yeah, it's worth it if you're willing to stay a little off the Vegas Strip. They have quite the gathering here on the weekends, so you won't be alone.

Table Games:

A long casino floor because Palms is hoping for both young tourists and the locals. But table games are concentrated in a small area around a bar in the center. Look for blackjack, craps, roulette, Let It Ride, Pai Gow, a few of the trendy table games that come and go, and Baccarat, including a "high-limit" area where they use money to separate the rich from the stinky like us. If you ask us, money is the worst way to separate the rich from the rest because we always end up with the rest. Blackjack has some hand-held, but mostly is six-deck shoes with surrender.

Bet Minimums:

You're mostly going to find $10 minimums. Roulette has a $10 minimum. If you're a high roller, they have the Mint Lounge with special service and pricey games.  Keep your eyes peeled for that 6:5 blackjack nonsense, and if you see it, run away as fast as you can.

Machines:

Slots from a nickel to the sky. There are 2000 machines and that includes an insane number of the newer video slot machines and more dollar slots than should be allowed to legally assemble in one place. There's a ton of nickels, too.

Cocktails?

If you're serious about cocktails, head to Ghostbar. Everywhere else the drinks and service left us saying  "meh."

Who Gets Comps?

The slot clubs gives average comps on slots and VP.  They'll rate you for pretty much any play at the table, but don't expect much unless you average more than $50 per bet.

Number of TVs:

17 medium-sized TVs, one enormous one, and 28 smaller ones grace the top of this quite nice room.

Number of Seats:

140 or so seats for the man who loves horses. They all have mini TVs (50 with interactive betting stations) and the seats are nice desk chairs. One funny thing is that about half the race seats are reserved, and those that are have much nicer TVs. The sports area is considerably smaller with 19 very comfortable loungers and 24 chairs in a lounge area.

Number of Betting Windows:

6 for sports and 13 for racing. There are also 50 seats where you can make your wagers interactively. The board for sports results and lines is electronic, but the race board is handwritten in those magic erasable markers on white boards. We still don't get how those things work. We've spent hundreds of hours at Office Depot making a mess of our hands trying to get to the bottom of it, though.

Free Drinks?

You bet your booty they got free drinks, but only if you're betting. Wooowee!

Snack Bar?

Not in the sports book, but it's directly across the casino floor from the fast food outlets. Palms has 10 different restaurants to choose from, so you don't have to wander off too far to fill up your gut.

Other Notes:

The room is nice and the chairs are primo. It's a shame that there is such a small area for sports bettors.

Number of Tables:

Ten tables divided between two different rooms. One of the rooms is dedicated to no-limit and the other is the cheapskate room, as we lovingly call it.  The tables have goofy swipes of tropical color on them.

Comfort of Chairs:

Average, which is a downer compared to the other chairs, like in the sports book. Heck, maybe they'll let you drag a lounger in here. On the plus side, the chairs have wheels.  Whheeeeeeee.

Closed Room or Open to Casino?

The rooms are off the casino that is open and, unfortunately, gets all that slot machine racket.

Game Spreads and Limits:

$2-$4 and $4-$8 Hold 'Em in the low limit room. The $1-$3 and up No-limit games are $100-$200 buy-in.

Beginner Games or Classes:

The lowest limits might be safe for a rookie to wade into, but Palms doesn't offer any lessons.

How Crowded is the Room?

Well, one room is definitely cramped, the other ain't so bad. Crowded? You may end up waiting an hour to get into a game, but rarely more than that. If you find yourself yawning at the slots while you wait for a poker seat, check out other great Vegas poker rooms to bide your time.

Comps?

A buck an hour up to $24 a day, which would take, um, let's see, carry the four, subtract three... okay, about 63 hours, we think.

How Good Are the Players?

They are good, and bad. They have some top flight dealers in the room and they have drawn some good players. But this place draws boneheaded party boys like no other casino with a poker room, and some of them are emboldened by watching poker on TV. Imagine their surprise when they learn they don't get to see everyone's hole cars with probabilities.

What Else Do I Need to Know?

The weekends are crazy, but for the no-limit it may pay off.  There is a lot of loose, free money in this game on the weekends.

Palms Casino Resort Guest Rooms